In advance, this falls into the Mommy Moments category…
Did I actually begin my last blog with, “Indeed home-schooling my children is like balm to my soul?!” Truly I say to you, in that moment, that was honestly the truth. I found myself in such a wondrous season of life. I can remember even marveling at the way God had willed in me a desire to worship Him. My heart was joyfully thankful for everything.
And then…something changed!
That season of life ended. It literally vanished overnight. It was as if something in the air had sucked the life out of me. This new season commenced with two really dark and emotional days. I was not the wife or mommy of my daydreams. What’s worst and of more importance, I wasn’t the wife or mommy scripture calls me to be. Now let me be clear, I am still one zealous mommy who home-schools and I am over the moon in love with my honey, but for two days I was having a mommy moment, a meltdown.
With the dark days graciously behind me, I can truthfully say, I am so excited. You see, prior to my mommy meltdown, I publicly asked for prayer. One request, in particular, was to become incredibly long-suffering. There were people who prayed for me several times over a twenty-four hour period. I feel confident that God is using this new season of life to manifest the answer to their prayers petitioned on my behalf. The truth still remains, I am in a new place emotionally and it is not easy to be here. Change is difficult.
I am being stretched. I am growing to a place where four of my children each need individual time with me. I am hoping to have one on one devotional time and one on one instructional time. In addition to this, I still need to simply be a mommy. It is going to take some time, but I cannot wait to be better!
Here is what I am feeding myself as I navigate through this season
“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love."
I have been called to this very place. This place includes being a follower of Jesus Christ, being a wife, and a mommy. Each of these roles is a major part of my essence and I am thankful that God is using these roles to sanctify me. “And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in”... me... “will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6). I must persevere through this season full of hope, gentleness, and patience.
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."
I must remain committed to the chief end. To live reflecting that I know God and be committed to making Him known to my beautiful children. This is lived out by treating each day as an opportunity to make Him known to them.
“How blessed is the man who finds wisdom And the man who gains understanding."
"Take my instruction and not silver, And knowledge rather than choicest gold."
Learning takes place in three phases: knowledge (grammar), understanding (dialectic), and wisdom (rhetoric). Though life would be much simpler if learning took place in one phase and led straight to wisdom. However, we were not fashioned in this way. Thus, I need to be willing to be whomever and whatever my children need, in an effort to build their foundation for knowledge. For some of my children, I need to be a strict disciplinarian, that they become teachable vessels. For others, I must be their second mind. I must be willing to remind them of whatever it is they need to know and learn. Being pliable for the sake of my children is a bit difficult. However, I must keep the bigger picture in mind.
“How blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.”
As I navigate my way through these turbulent waters, it is going to occasionally get bumpy. If I stumble here or there, until I get accustomed to this new season of life, I can rest assured that I am truly in God’s hands. My position in Christ wasn’t earned. It was freely given to me in Christ. Thus, I cannot lose it. I must faithfully confess my sins and trust that God will continue to cleanse me and make me whole.
So, yes! I did begin my last blog with the statement, “Indeed home-schooling my children is like balm to my soul!” Remarkably it is and this season of life has proven this statement to be truer than ever. Balm is an ointment used to heal or soothe. Home-schooling is a means by which God is healing me by stretching me to possess qualities that will make me more like Him.